Bill: We're not the first.
Ted: Yeah, check out those dudes from the Stoned Age who joined the Blue Oyster Cult.
Jonah: The Stoned Age? That movie got made for what, forty cents they fished out of a milk glass?
Bill: But it was real, man.
Ted: Yeah, that movie was a lot deeper than you think.
Jonah: You dudes have finally flipped. The last Phish show you went to, did you get hit with a laser?
Ted: Forget that third eye shit, man. Alright? That was just Hollywood hokem, and you've gotta look past it. Now check it. What's it say, right here on the box?
Ted: Bingo. And that's what we're talking about. Not better as in, a more fun, candy-coated view of what it was like to be stoned and live in the 70's. Uh uh.
Bill: When you watch The Stoned Age, see, you're getting an up-close, low-rent glimpse into the basement beer blast scene of suburban stoners in the seventies. You're hip to the good, the bad, and the ugly, all up close and personal.
Ted: It's like, classic angst, man. Suburbia breeds anger and disillusionment in like, the whole American Dream. And the stoners are always the first ones to figure it out. Weed opens your eyes to that shit.
Ted: And there's always a killer soundtrack involved, 'cuz music helps keep you sane when you're locked in that kind of dull, conformist environment. BOC in the Stoned Age. Kiss in Detroit Rock City. Over The Edge, and Matt Dillon blasting Cheap Trick.
Jonah: I thought it was Keanu Reeves in that movie, and Crispin Glover was the stoner metalhead.
Bill: Dude, that was River's Edge. Eighties. C'mon, Jonah, you've Mr. Seventies, you've never seen Over The Edge?
Jonah: You'll have to school me.
Ted: Dude! It's only the most fucking right on flick about stoners ever made!
Bill: It's like, the godfather of them all.
Jonah: Alright, that's it. I gotta get back up front. Save some of that shit for me. (Jonah exits the break room.)
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